halle berry

halle berry

Halle Berry is having a baby by Gabriel Aubrey, a White man. Since she released her statement the media and the black community has been a buzz. The media has applauded her pregnancy because she's longed for a baby for quite some time. However, many in the Black community have focused on the race of the "baby's daddy". Many have commented that Halle was driven to the "White boy" because so many Black men had done her wrong.

While Halle has been unlucky in love with Black men, it does not necessarily follow that she is with Gabriel simply because he's White. As a Black woman who has dated outside of my race. I would like to offer another point of view.

One of the greatest lessons in life is to be open to love wherever you find it. A relationship with a white man taught me that. Before five years ago, I had an absolute rule that I only dated Black men. I did not have the rule out of respect for my heritage. Rather, I had the rule because I did not feel as if I had any other choice.

If this article could talk, my dialect and my voice might make my race difficult to detect. Throughout my life I have been in integrated environments, which has sometimes been challenging. In Junior High, I was ridiculed by Black students as being/acting "White". While the ridiculing had stopped by high school, I never felt like I ever quite earned true "street cred". So, I was very careful about my choices.

In my mind, dating a White boy would have called my "Blackness" into question again. So, I refused to do it. I also judged the Black guys by the same standard. I thought that those who dated interracially were "less Black". I also interpreted their decision as a rejection of me and all other Black girls.

Right after college, I developed a friendship with a White co-worker. We were attracted to one another and enjoyed each other's company. However, instead of dating him, I made sure that we remained "just friends" because I was still being influenced by the voices of the past.

Admittedly, Halle Berry's story is uniquely her own. I do not know her. However, I do know that she is bi-racial, the product of a union of a Black man and a White woman. Her childhood was tumultuous, in large part because of the chaos that her father's presence (and frequently absence) brought to her life.

Her life has been filled with great opportunity and success, but she has been unlucky in love. She dated a famous Black actor (rumored to have the initials W.S.) who beat her and caused her to lose her hearing in one ear. She married David Justice, an athlete whom she met through publicists. He cheated on her with prostitutes. She married Eric Benet, a struggling singer who was a sex addict. Because of her rather public relationship failings, many in the Black community have concluded that she is with Gabriel because she ran out of patience with "the brothers". I think that view is overly simplistic.

I imagine that like me, Halle felt pressured to prove that she was "Black enough". Being bi-racial, her need to prove her "Blackness" would have been even greater. Since she has a White mother, she may have feared that having a White boyfriend might have been perceived as the ultimate denial of her Black side.

Based on her interviews, it appears that she has now opened herself up to true love.

A few years ago, a White man challenged me. He expressed an interest in dating me. I responded by feigning ignorance about his attraction to me and trying to fix him up with a nice White girl. Still, he persisted. Finally I told him, "I'm sorry, but I don't date White men". He responded rather sheepishly, "I'm sorry, but I can't do anything about my color." His response made my rejection of his advances seem so silly and racist. I was attracted to him. I was also interested in getting to know him better. However, I was refusing to date him because I was still haunted by the voices. At that moment, I decided to silence the voices once and for all.

Because I am completely incapable of doing anything halfway, I went from not dating white men to passionately kissing one while standing in a restaurant parking lot in a matter of twenty-four hours. We remained involved for the better part of two years.

That relationship changed my life--not because he was White, but because it was the first time in my life that I allowed myself to be completely authentic. I was involved with him because I admired him, respected him, and was attracted to him. We were able to connect on a very primal and spiritual level. It was real. Before then, I had been involved in many relationships simply because I thought they were "appropriate".

This is not an article advocating interracial relationships. Everyone has to live their own journey. However, this is an article advocating love and authenticity.

My interracial relationship taught me to be open to love wherever I might find it. That was a very powerful and necessary lesson for me to learn. It has enriched the quality of all of my subsequent relationships, all which have been with Black men.

I hope that Halle Berry has finally found someone with whom to share her life, someone who appreciates her and cherishes her. I pray that she is with Gabriel, because she allowed herself to be open to love, and that she found it with him. That is really the only thing that matters.

halle berry

halle berry

halle berry

halle berry

halle berry

halle berry

halle berry

halle berry

halle berry

halle berry

halle berry

halle berry

halle berry

halle berry